suffering

You know, as a johnny-come-lately Buddhist, I'm learning all the time about concepts which would have been so much easier if I'd studied them in order. One of them, of course, is the first Noble Truth of the Buddha. To exist brings suffering. Somehow, I seem to have my head stuck in the sand over what that means. And yet, the more I look around, the more I see the truth in it. I also didn't want to be touched by others suffering for the longest time. It would make me so sad to see it all. But the more I listen to my 'root guru' (the Ven. Robina Courtin), the more I understand that I have to open up to the world. To learn to go to the place Siddartha went, I must learn what his teachings are. I must of course, understand that as Robina says "the labels of enemy, friend, or stranger are arbitrary labels we put on to a person and not something that's inherent in their character'. And by opening myself up to the world I see that we all suffer in our own ways. Some, like me, deny it's exsistence and stick our heads in the sand. Others get so indignant as to actually do something about it. And yet, whether we're mad, sad, angry, or hurt about it...we all STILL suffer. Doing something about it is preferable to not, but that still doesn't end it. Yesterday, I was walking to the grocery store and looking around I couldn't tell whether it was the product of sleep or not, but I swear I saw each suffering being as a light. It was like the night was lit up with each spark of life. And it was all around. Such a peaceful calm overcame me. And for the first time, I wasn't just trapped in my skull with my own thoughts, but connecting to everything.